Self Care

When I think back on the time after the birth of my second kid, I think of a time I wouldn’t want to relive. Total and absolute chaos, physical agony, survival mode. My husband snapped this pic and I liked it, so I posted it without much thought.

Fast forward two years to last night, when I was speaking to a friend with a newborn. When the subject of sleep came up, he was reluctant to tell me that his baby is sleeping through. Why? Because if his friends knew, they would “want to stab” him. What?!!!? The sad part was that I understood him completely. The feeling of hesitation to share your parental wins. The assumption that by sharing your success story, you’re shaming someone else’s.

After this conversation it got me thinking about this old picture I had posted, and the reactions people might have had. I wondered if there was anyone struggling with their newborn, or toddler, or newborn and toddler who doubted themselves or thought that their struggle was unusual. Let it be known: despite what it may have looked like, I did NOT “got” this. My newborn cried before and after this shot was taken. Both kids were waking up all night long. My c-section scar - I mean wound - my raw c-section wound, was making it difficult to sit/stand/lie down/function. I had been disfigured, mentally and physically, into something I did not recognise.

Next time you hear someone’s baby is sleeping through when yours is not, feeding well when yours is not, or looks on top of their s#*t when you’re covered in it, think twice before comparing yourself. Try not to be shamed. Let’s have empathy and lift each other up further. Instead of reiterating the hackneyed line “it takes a village” let’s be the village that we all so desperately need.